Did you Say Christmas Party?!
YES, It’s that time of year yet again. Just what WE have all been waiting for.
Catching up with people that you haven’t seen since this morning!
Splashing out on a brand new outfit
Letting your hair down
Indulging in delicious festive foods
Washing it all down with the table wine & free bar
Becoming the World’s best dancer for one night
Rearranging the Taxi pick up time to come 30 minutes later about 3 times
SOUND FAMILIAR?
We have been entertaining the festive season parties for many years now. SOBER! Witnessing all sorts along the way.
So we have rounded up the top types of people to look out for at your upcoming Christmas Party.
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Free Bar Junkie!
Normally spotted by the bar. Taking advantage of this very rare opportunity of a FREE BAR this person doesn’t hold back. Lager. Wine. Cider. Prosecco. Shots. They are so overwhelmed with the fact that they haven’t departed any cash or even tapped contactless to receive a drink. They really are making the most of it.
However, the next drink they pick up blissfully slips through their fingers and smashes on the floor. Looking around like it was someone else’s fault, they move themselves away from the bar & aim for the ‘Quiet Area’ only to realise their legs are not fully functioning.
They bump into several people, knock past guests sitting down & finally trip over the dancefloor. All this before the Main Courses have been served.
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The Social Crusader!
Feeling sorry for their friends that are not attending the party, they make it their mission to get full coverage of the night on socials. For hours they are engrossed into the bright 6” display tightly grasped in their hands 5cm away from their face dormant from any conversation. This is how it goes:
at home during the Pre Drinks
covering the Taxi journey to the venue
a boomerang of the arrival drinks
classic toilet selfie
every item of food being consumed gets a picture
table selfie
dancing to the 1 hit wonder
toilet selfie
‘I feel sick’ selfie
2am Kebab.
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Fancy Dress Stitch Up!
You can’t miss them, this person has gone all out! Wig, make up, accessories & an outrageous costume to win the prize of the best fancy dressed. However, it turns out that there is no prize and they are the only one in Fancy Dress. YES - they have drawn the short straw and fell victim to the classic office prank.
For weeks a group of co-workers have kept a straight face and convinced this poor soul to spend hours on Amazon adding ridiculous items to their basket & paying prime delivery to make sure it arrives on time.
They make a grand walk of shame into the room whilst a bunch of so called ‘friends’ are laughing uncontrollably & filming the whole ordeal.
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Birthday Gift Smuggle!
Tonight it is a friends or this person ‘birthday’. Carrying 2 Gold glistening bottle bags bursting with large bottles of spirits they calmly swerve the dreaded question from venue staff. “I’m sorry but you can’t consume drinks not purchased from this venue”.
Boldy walking on saying they are gifts for a friends birthday they arrive in the room & quickly stash the bags underneath the table. Noticeably they have been to the bar once to buy a pint of Pepsi.
As the night draws to a close they are hammered. Without a care in the world they head off home having had a fantastic evening & not spent a small fortune.
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The Social Smoker!
They are not usually a smoker but when the drinks are flowing and surrounded by a group of friends who are smoking, they insist in asking around the group to crash the ash.
Often they get refused by the ‘full time smokers’. Feeling left out and wanting to be part of the social interaction they dig deep in their pockets to pull out the sacred £1 coin in exchange for a cigarette. This always works!
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The Cry Baby!
A slight trip, wardrobe malfunction, a fall or the Ex! Something has triggered this person to become in a constant flow of tears. Full of emotions & alcohol - the crying doesn’t stop!
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Undercover DJ!
They have charged their phone to 100% for this party only to drain it within 2 hours. With Spotify, Apple Music & Shazam history working overtime they are keen to make friends with the DJ. Suggesting which songs to play next & a definite TUNE that will get the dancefloor booming!
After a couple hours of refusing the DJ gives in & drops one of their requested 'Dancefloor Bangerz’. With sheer amazement the dancefloor empties & this 1 person is soaking in the limelight centre stage dancing one their own. Possibly to one of the worse songs ever made!
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The Complainer!
Without doubt this person would have had something else better to do than attend this party. Perhaps finish watching a season on Netflix? The taxi ride was uncomfortable, the room is to cold, the food is not satisfying their Al La Carte palate, music is too loud, sat next to someone they don’t like & the drinks are too expensive! No matter what’s going on - nothing is going to please them.
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The Tactical Chunderer!
We are all guilty of a cheeky chunder at some point on a night out. The satisfaction of spewing up the 3 course meal & welcome drinks only to make room for more drinks - it’s a winner!
The only thing is, this person hasn’t quite made into the toilet cubical. The top TC locations are plant pots, cigarette buckets, toilet hand wash sink, under the table & a quiet corner of the room.
Which type of person do you socialise with?
Tell us in the comments & Tag your friends!